Jared Lorenzen
Biographical information
Age Unknown
Place of birth Unknown
Physical description
Species Human?
Gender Male
Skin color White
Hair color Unknown
Eye color White
Personal information
Position Football Player
Affiliation The Troll Slaiyers
Allies Hulk
Enemies The Trolls
Weapon of choice Football
Chronological information
First appearance Chapter 15
Status Alive

Jared Lorenzen is a football player who Teemo introduced to The Troll Slaiyers in Chapter 15.

Creation Edit

Deviantart user Febreeze won a contest by Lazerbot to introduce a new character to Tails Gets Trolled. [1]

"Okay. Hey Lazerbot, since you can read the thread, here is my Original character idea: There is a Quarterback in the UFL, basically a small alternate football league to the NFL. His name is Jared Lorenzen. He looks like this. He is also known as "Battleship Lorenzen", "The Pillsbury Throwboy", "The round mound of touchdown", "The hefty lefty", "Quarter(got)back", "BBQ(for Big Beautiful Quarterback)" and "He Ate Me". The joke is that he's fat, and good at throwing a football. I want this man in your comic. Or at least a character based off Lorenzen. here is a quick 5 minute doodle: Somebody like that. You can change the colors or his number if you want. I don't care what you name him. He's a big dumb football player who can only talk in grunts. His power, despite being fat and strong like Hulk, is that he can throw a football really hard, like a cannon.You can kill him in one scene or take him to the finale, I don't care. I just want to see battleship lorenzen in Tails gets Trolled."

In a response for more details, Febreeze added "Wow uh drat. Lazy-B must have grand plans for this guy if he wants such details. Okay. He's really dumb. Talks with grunts and gestures, can barely form a coherent sentence. Honestly I don't care what side he's on, but it would be pretty cool to see him crush some trolls with his fat and knock off the heads of others with football throws. So...neutrals or Slayers I guess? I pictured him as a bodyguard type, and Hulk's best friend and they high five a lot. His powers, as mentioned, are his really powerful throwing arm. He also has a superbowl ring, he could use that to blind people or something, maybe leave imprints on people when he punches them. He's kind of like the blob. Not muscular, just huge and soft. People bounce off him. Basically the stereotypical Fat dumb football player everyone knew in High School. That's basically it. No preference to side. Stupid, grunts a lot. Throws football hard. Either best friends with Hulk or Hulk's biggest rival. I don't care which. I leave the rest up to you."